wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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