Just fell off a train. Bad.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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