dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
