Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
