So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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