she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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