new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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