a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
