i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
