Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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