Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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