girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
