you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
