doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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