I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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