Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
