and next time when you feel me up, do it right
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
