This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
