Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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