Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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