Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
