Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
