ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude i'm inner monologue high
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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