I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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