He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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