I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
