come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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