can we get nightvision for the apartment?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize