It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
