So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize