a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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