so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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