You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
