This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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