Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
