Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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