this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
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Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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