i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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