Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
