So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
