p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
