glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
