Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
