But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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