I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
