And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
