The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize