So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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