I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
