Acid is not a monday night drug
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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