your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
