they need to just BURY HIM!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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