Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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