he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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