My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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